Writing a Memoir, a Breakdown or a Breakthrough and the Magic of an Olivetti Typewriter
A Dream from the Dreamworks Project
Hello Beautiful Soul,
Welcome to a Field of Dreams, a growing collection of the dreams and aspirations of contemporary women around the world. Each woman has been interviewed as a part of the Dreamworks Project, and is happy for her words to be shared anonymously here.
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Today’s offering is from an interview I gave in April 2024
The following words are all the interviewees and offer you a window into one of this woman’s dreams.
Enjoy!
Sarah Xx
Writing a Memoir, a Breakdown or a Breakthrough and the Magic of an Olivetti Typewriter.
I'd like to share my dream of writing the book which is my memoir
It all began a few years ago when I went on a memoir writing course on the Greek island of Skyros. I'd booked the course very impulsively, just three weeks before actually getting on the plane, and I spent much of that time wondering why I was even doing a memoir writing course – I wasn't a writer. I felt very confused.
Even when I arrived in Skyros I almost dropped out of the course to do something else, but I remembered the words “Every journey contains a secret destination”. And I wondered if this memoir writing course might be mine.
So I did the course. I absolutely loved every moment of it, and I became inspired to continue writing. After the course I began to write and post online both to test my commitment to writing regularly, and also to face my own discomfort with putting myself out there in written words. I do paint and I'm quite used to putting my art into social media, but I found sharing my writing to be completely different.
My writing focused on how I fell apart in 2013 when had burnout, as well as clinical depression. I went through a catastrophic health crisis and I didn't work for 18 months.
But during that time, art arrived. I always say art claimed me.
My writing is the of story of what led to the falling apart, and how very unexpectedly and without looking for it, I became an artist.
I know my writing is about me making sense of my story. Even though I've had years and years of therapy, I still wonder, as the narrator of my own life, what actually is my story?
I'm writing to to offer inspiration so that people will know that when we are in our darkest moments, something will come. So that people will ponder if their darkest moments are really a breakdown, or whether they could actually be a breakthrough?
For me, it was connecting with my creativity that was the break through. That was initially through visual arts and maybe now it's about writing as well.
When I was a child, I really wanted to be an author.
When I was about 10 years old I wanted a typewriter, and specifically a bright pink one made of plastic they used to sell as a toy called a petite typewriter. That's what I wanted.
But my mum bought me proper typewriter. It was an Olivetti typewriter. God knows what it cost - we weren't particularly well off. And that was my Christmas present.
I used that typewriter to type stories, and then I would make magazines and force feed them to my sister and her friends. I typed my dissertation on it at university, and later on when I was doing my professional qualifications I typed all my essays on it. I kept that typewriter right through to my early 30s.
It was only recently I discovered that close to where I live now, there's a guy who owns a stationary shop, and he loves old typewriters. So I went to the shop, and he happened to have an old Olivetti in there.
It was magical. I remembered that there is this most peculiar thing about using a typewriter. I remembered how much pressure you have to put on each key. You really have to strike a letter in order for it to actually type. We're so used to touch screen now and I loved reconnecting with the typewriter.
Maybe when this memoir is done I'll become one of those people who immediately want to write another book. I have no idea.
I have had a lot of appreciation from people about the quality of my writing, which is really encouraging.
That's kind of given me some confidence that the way I write, and the quality of my writing, is good enough.
My book is an offering to the world, to those who want it or who will gain something from it, whatever that might be. I fully accept I'm not in control of that at all. I haven't got any notions of selling millions of copies or whatever.
I am trusting it will land in the hands of the right people. If somebody picked up my book and felt it resonated, and my story offered something for that person, that would be gratifying.
I still have a question mark in my mind about whether it is a hybrid memoir and to what extent there could be a self help element? If I went down that path, particularly around the impact of burnout, there could be a bigger ripple effect.
Somebody is going to read my book, and it could make a difference in how they choose to be in their life, and in the world.
I feel incredibly emotional. I really want to cry.
This is important to me and yet I've been running away from it. I realise I've been hiding from it. Hiding myself from it.
I normally use excuses like I haven't got time. Or who am I to write a book?
But there's only one person who's going to write it and that's me.
It's time to embrace it and get writing.
I just need to get on with it.
Interview April 2024
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